Many boards deal with a board member who is bound and determined to get his way. He is relentless in his efforts to push his own agenda. How do you say ‘No’ without causing a major disruption?
The key is to avoid 7 common pitfalls:
I. Saying no without listening to the person’s rationale
II. Responding in anger
III. Looking away from the person as you speak
IV. Making a public issue of the conversation
V. Speaking in a derogatory manner
VI. Telling the person he should know better or light of his solution
VII. Walking away and leaving the person without a definitive response
Here are a few ideas which might help
- Avoid saying the word ‘no.’
- Explain the consequences of the solution he wants without answering his question and provide alternatives which may meet his objective and the desires of the board.
- Avoid the word ‘but’; in its place use the word ‘and’. When many people hear ‘but’ they roll their eyes as if to say “what’s coming now.”
- Stick to your Rules of Order which means he may not be able to ask the board to reverse a decision without giving the board members advance notice and time to think about his request.
- If the board members solution requires resources which are not readily available, ask him how he would go about securing them and if he would be willing to take them from other approved areas.
- Ask how his solution advances the mission and mandate of the entity.
- Ask the member how he would handle negativity from other stakeholders who believe the stance or decision of the board is the best one.
Ways to Say No
ü X persons really like that idea, X persons believe Y is the best solution and the board has chosen to make this decision.
ü Since the board has made this decision, can we go with it and agree to revisit this issue in six months? This will give us all time to evaluate the effectiveness of our current choice.
ü The board is unable to do X because we have to do this, this and this first.
ü The board is unable to fulfill your request because of this external regulation or decision of the owners.
ü X was chosen for this role but there will be another chance for you in X months; can the board provide opportunities for you to prepare yourself for it?
ü I hear what you are asking and I am wondering how we would secure the physical, financial or human resources? Do you have a definitive plan in mind?
ü The board would really like to support you and when we reviewed our mandate we discovered that it is not included. Could we present your issue to X entity for consideration?
ü I understand your constituents are placing you under a lot of pressure to resolve this issue in their favour. How can we help you deal with that pressure?
ü You are very generous with your time and as you have expressed, you are spending a lot of time on board work. Perhaps it is best if another person assume this function for the time being.
ü Our policies are very clear and if we make a decision to violate our policies we are setting a dangerous precedent and putting the board at risk.
If your board has experienced this situation, would you share how you dealt with the situation? Other board members want to learn how to say no effectively without causing a board disaster.
