Introduction
Everyone experiences conflict. However it is important to understand what conflict is and why it occurs. Further, what brings some conflicts to a quick and peaceful resolution while others balloon into out of control battles? Most people like to think it has to do with the other person being unreasonable. The truth is different. How conflict occurs and the kind of resolution has to do with our own reactions to the other person and to the situation. Understanding what conflict is and why it occurs are first steps toward learning how to resolve conflict easily and peacefully, while maintaining board harmony. Having this knowledge and these skills may help your board avoid the need for mediation.
What Is Conflict?
At its core, conflict stems from a difference you have with another board member or with the CEO. There can, however, be many kinds of differences which lead to many different kinds of conflict.
The actual conflict is your expression of the difference as you interact with the other person.
Why Do We Have Conflict?
Early in this century, psychologists Bell and Hart studied conflict in the workplace and identified eight common causes of conflict. These causes apply to the board room as well as to other aspects of the organization.
The eight common causes:
- Conflicting resources
This conflict can occur when you feel you or those you represent are not being given access to certain necessary resources. People will fight for resources that they feel are necessary for the survival of their programs or services.
2. Conflicting styles
Each board member may approach tasks in a different manner, according to his own personality and needs. Trying to change the way someone is accomplishing a task to have it done the “right way” can commonly cause conflict.
3. Conflicting perceptions
Each board member may view the same situation in different ways. The members view circumstances through their own lens that is colored by their own personality and life experiences.
4. Conflicting goals
This conflict occurs when something about a situation is more or less important to one person than it is to another person. People prioritize situations differently based on their personal desires and goals. Therefore, you may disagree where the board is placing emphasis and find yourself in conflict because your priorities are not receiving the attention you think they deserve.
5. Conflicting pressures
It is just a matter of fact that board members must depend on and trust other members to help out in certain situations. Therefore, when board members or committees do not fulfill their roles or commitments it can induce conflict.
6. Conflicting roles
People fill multiple roles in their daily lives. Sometimes board members are asked to do things that are outside their perception of the scope of their responsibilities, and this can lead to resentment and power struggles.
7. Different personal values
People value different things in life, and that can lead to conflict with others. If you value loyalty over following the letter of the law but the other party values the letter of the law over loyalty, there may be a conflict if the two of you are placed in a situation that requires both strict adherence to the law and extreme loyalty. To avoid this type of conflict, it is essential for the board to state its values and what those values look like in action.
8. Unpredictable or unclear policies
Board members tend to like consistency. When rules, policies, or even personal standards for inter- and intra-board relationships are not consistent, confusion and conflict may follow.
Ways of Resolving Conflict Before it Gets to Mediation
Once you understand the common causes of conflict, you must work to understand how to resolve it. This means keeping the conflict from escalating in order to avoid mediation or even legal action.
The best way to resolve conflict without mediation varies with the cause:
1. Conflict over resources can be dealt with if board members sit and rationally discuss why they feel their needs are at odds. Often, the parties want very similar things. A “win-win” approach can help the parties see that they can both have their basic needs met without the other party being sacrificed. A win-win solution can be arrived at by working toward a shared agreement regarding the resources. Conflict over resources can be resolved long term when board members work on their empathy and realize that others have needs and desires very similar to their own, and that the instinct to fight for resources is basic in every individual.
2. It is sometimes difficult to understand why another board member’s style is so drastically different from your own. Having an open discussion with that member about how you interact with other people and how you feel while doing it can help clarify your position. It is important to utilize good listening skills during this task and to not criticize or judge the other party. You are two people with different approaches. There are compromises which can be reached.
3. Conflicting perceptions can be the source of many arguments. One of the first things you can do to alleviate conflict that occurs over perception is to communicate openly, frequently, and consistently with the other board members. Say what you mean and mean what you say. The other party will still have his own unique view of the situation, but that view is less likely to be drastically different from your own if you have openly communicated.
4. Open and frequent communication also helps alleviate conflict that occurs over goals. People prioritize situations differently based on their own overall goals, and they also prioritize situations differently based on the goals that are set for them through their professional and personal obligations.
5. Resolving conflict requires each board member to remain calm. The best way to stay calm in the face of conflicting pressures is to work at developing empathy for others who are in the situation with you. Reacting before thinking or acting as if what happens to the other board member’s concerns is not your problem does not get lead to harmonic relationships or good governance. Often, showing empathy for what another person must be going through goes a long way.
6. People with drastically different value sets often find themselves in conflict with each other. It is important to remember that it is not your job to fix other people. Refrain from telling the other board member what he is doing wrong or what they need to fix. It is vital to live life ethically and practice your own personal values in and out of the board room .
7. Communicating openly, often, and consistently is the key to resolving conflict that arises as a result of unpredictable policies. By keeping the lines of communication open and consistent, all board members can feel secure in knowing that if there is any unpredictability it can be easily handled with open communication. Also, it is helpful to clarify why the governance policies and rules exist. Clarifying the boardroom rules and governance policies establishes clearer boundaries, which makes the situation or relationship more predictable.
Final Comment
Every board experiences conflict, but understanding what conflict is and how to deal with it can help keep small conflicts from ballooning into out of control battles.
