Life is a wonderful journey.
Sure, it has its ups and downs. They key is to focus on the positive and recognize the triggers which cause you to feel down or less than someone else.
In a workshop last week, someone mentioned all the fun their friends seemed to be having. I asked how she knew that and she mentioned that she sees pictures of their outings, their family, their new purchases, and their accomplishments on social media. I asked if they posted pictures of the alone times, the sad times and the things they dreamt of having. She said, “No.”
Could it be that our colleagues and friends only post what they want us to see? Are they sharing only one aspect of their lives? If this is a possibility, then it is essential to examine what happens if we fall in the trap of believing that what we see is the total picture of their lives.
I know this is easy to say but how do we do that? Here are a few tips which might help you.
Share Don’t Compare
It is easy to see what others want us to believe. The key to remember is that it is only a snapshot in time. View what you see, be happy for your friends and colleagues but don’t compare.
You have wonderful moments, too. You are a worthwhile individual and you can write the script of your own life. Do not try to live life through someone else’s lens. Decide what you want, how you want it, and when you want it. Visualize it in detail. Hold that vision close at all times.
Do not let those snapshots in time cause you to feel down or depressed. You have a choice. Exercise it.
Movie or Reality
You may think that you should have more material things, be in a better job, or have more money but would it make you feel happier, really? Riches and responsibility have down sides as well as up sides. Don’t forget to weigh all perspectives before you make a decision about others or what you want.
What you see on the surface is like what you see when you go to the movie. You only see the result which is much more glamourous than the process. You don’t see the blood, sweat, tears and long hours that went into making the movie.
Zoom Versus Gloom
Rather than focusing on other’s perceived luck or good fortune and feeling down, list all the things you are grateful for right now. Keep perspective. Life is a roller coaster. Everybody is on his own personal ride. Just like each of us, sometimes he is up and other times he is down.
Fairness or Favoritism
One of the greatest complaints I hear as a coach is that ‘it is just not fair.’
Fairness is a concept I really don’t understand. Sometimes people who seem to work less, are less committed, or don’t pull their weight get ahead of other dedicated hard-working individuals.
If you have a mean boss you really don’t think it is fair that he was promoted and you weren’t. If you know someone who is politically connected or related to someone in authority you may perceive his good fortune as being unfair.
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If you focus on someone else’s good fortune you can become resentful, angry or openly bitter. Why focus on others and risk the chance of losing more than you have already. Why not spend your valuable time being a competent team player.
I’d like to share a story with you.
John was the person everyone sought out when work had to be done. He did his own work plus finished everyone else’s work when they were unable to carry their load. This meant John never took a break and really liked the idea that others saw him as being competent.
What John didn’t stop to consider was the fact that his body and mind were in overdrive all the time. As a result, it could be short tempered and remain distant from others. He justified this behaviour based on the fact that he was the best and others could not do without him.
One day there was a complaint made against him for being difficult. This incident was forgiven. A couple of weeks later another complaint was made to the human resources department. This time the complaint could not be overlooked.
John thought the complaint should be dismissed because he was the one everyone relied on in the workplace. He did not see that overworking was only valued as long as he was easy to get along with. He was devastated. He thought he should get special treatment because of his commitment to his work. He felt others were being unfair.
Were others unfair? Was John being unfair and expecting too much of himself? Should he slow down, do his own job, and help out when he could? What is fair in this case?
More or Less
Do you believe that there is enough to go around or do you believe that each of us has to fight for the little that exists? Fear of not having enough can really hold you back.
Do you fret when you see others get ahead, obtain new things or take really exciting vacations? When I hear clients say, “I will never get to do that or I will never have that,” it really bothers me. Never is a strong word. Opportunity knocks more than once in a lifetime. If we believe it only knocks once, we miss wonderful opportunities when they present themselves.
Sometimes opportunities drop in our lap. Other times we have to nudge circumstances in a specific direction or work for what we want. Either way the journey is worth it.
This is not a dress rehearsal. Live life to the fullest. Don’t waste a moment.
Failure or Success
Are you focusing on what you don’t have or where you have failed? Why not spend your time learning the lessons from those failures and using the information to create the success you dream about.
Every human being is on his own journey. Focus on contentment. Most importantly, celebrate great and small victories and successes.
Keep looking in your own mirror and refrain from looking in others in order to compare. You are worthy. See failure and conflict as friends. Never let your own light turn red. Make sure it is green. Learn and keep moving forward.
Don’t waste your time on regrets and failures. Remember every success. Do not let others sway you from your vision. You are wonderful and you can create the life you want.
Creating the Life I Deserve (Mini Course)
You deserve to be at ease and in harmony with your true self. This is your time if you are willing to do the work. Complete the form below to access the FREE email course.
