Great Leaders Demonstrate Both Confidence and Optimism

Leadership is such a nebulous term. There are many definitions and views regarding excellence in leadership. We will focus on only two aspects of leadership in this article – confidence and optimism. The intention is to look at how confidence and optimism present themselves and how they can be misinterpreted by others.

Confidence or Bullying

When does a leader demonstrate confidence? Let’s examine a case study.

Sylvia, is direct and takes no nonsense from anybody. She makes statements such as “Just get on with it” or “Just do what I say.” The members of her team feel intimidated but they comply with her requests. They complain that they feel as if she is unable to listen and her high level of confidence is preventing any dialogue or problem solving.

Is Sylvia’s posturing a sign of confidence? Confidence does enable a person to act, but it also provides the stamina to listen, evaluate and make excellent decisions.

When Sylvia was asked about her approach this was her response.

“I am constantly looking over my shoulder. I am afraid of debate. I want to impress my bosses. I need to look strong and act strong. I am not confident but I don’t want others to see that about me. I just say what I want and walk away. I am direct and to the point. I’m constantly afraid. ” 

In this case, Sylvia was suppressing her fear and using force and directness to compensate. Her team assumed she was confident and beyond reproach. In fact, confidence did not show up as directness. Confident individuals do not need to be sarcastic, use negative non-verbal communications, belittle others, or avoid difficult conversations.

Confident persons see conflict as positive and a mechanism for growth. They are self-compassionate and considerate of others. They focus on the lessons contained in each mistake or misstep and keep their focus on the outcomes they desire.

Caregivers, partners and bosses can confuse the two and justify their bullying behaviour as being a way to get their point across. The persons receiving the messages hear the communication clearly but they become uneasy and unsafe simultaneously.

To determine whether others are receiving your message as a direct communique, watch the receivers’ body language. If they lean away, place an object between you and themselves, close their eyes, or rub their eyes, it is essential to clarify the intention of the message and ensure the other person that there is no threat projected. Positivity, optimism, and clarification that the message is received as designed goes a long way.

Optimism vs Avoidance

Optimistic persons expects things to play out the way they planned. They have a strong sense of self, their place in the world, and the outcomes they desire. They believe that they can effect change.   Bosses who avoid others only choose to interact when they have to do so for a specific purpose. They see others as having an obligation to do what they want, when they want it and how they want it. They fear conflict and have no intention of considering others points of view. 

How Confident and Optimistic Individuals Make Great Leaders

Individuals who believe in their aims, see conflict as positive, view failure as a great learning tool, are okay with discomfort, are self-compassionate, know that thoughts are things and avoid negative self-talk, and are able to focus on issues rather than people are confident optimistic leaders.

Review these characteristics and determine which you know you have and those that can be cultivated. Always believe in yourself because all these skills can be learned.

Confidence Checklist