Have you ever been rejected by another person? Did others make disparaging remarks about you? Were you ever made to feel ashamed?
Be Kind to Yourself
When I was younger I remember others yelling at me, telling me to be quiet, and making me feel as if they didn’t want to be in my presence. Does any of that sound familiar to you?
If we are hurt by others’ comments or actions, we begin to assume that we are not as good as they are, and we begin to see ourselves as imperfect.
After a while, we cannot be self-compassionate, we only see the flaws, and our strengths and beauty get lost.
The truth is that you and I were born perfect. We didn’t know how to put others down and certainly didn’t know how to diminish our own perfection. We learned how to do that from our siblings, caregivers, teachers, leaders and friends. They were our trusted models.
Let me put it another way and ask a couple of questions. If I squeeze a lemon, what will I get? Only lemon juice, of course. If I squeeze an orange, what will appear? Orange juice.
That’s the way it is with people. What they say and do tells us what is inside of them. An angry person will display anger, while a loving person will show compassion and empathy.
We Can Choose How To React
If someone threw a bomb at you, you have two choices: you can either catch it or duck and let it go past you. Hopefully, you would protect yourself by moving out of the way.
It’s the same way with others’ insults, derogatory comments, and mean actions.
- You either catch them and make them your own, allowing them to do damage, or
- You recognize them as the other person’s fear and anger and you refuse to catch them.
What is your choice?
To be honest, there are still times when I allow comments or actions really hurt me. Now I know to sit with the hurt and recognize it as not belonging to me.
It may take me 20 minutes or a day, but I refuse to let another person’s fear or self-loathing be thrown at me.
It doesn’t belong to me, I don’t want it and it won’t become mine. I won’t throw it back. I will sit, recognize their pain, and ask that their troubles and lack of self-worth be healed as soon as they are ready to receive the gifts this universe has to offer.