Loving yourself is a continuous process, a way of living. You need to cultivate it everyday to enjoy life and get the best out of it. It’s a walk in the park on the days when you feel good and confident. But it is perpetually hard on days when you just don’t like yourself at all.
Do you have characteristics you don’t want others to see? Are there stories you want to tuck straight in the depths of your closet? If so, welcome to the club. Most of us have things which we are not exactly proud of. Ever wonder how to break that pattern?
Risking, Failing, Falling
We either believe we can or we constantly tell ourselves we can’t. To move forward, you have to be prepared to do our best.
Let yourself fall, learn the lessons, then move forward. Most of us learn through failure. It is okay to make mis-takes, and it is wonderful to learn from them.
When we accept that some things require practice, refinement, and rehearsing, we realize that some things will come easy for us, while for others, it will take some time and patience.
When we accept that we are imperfect beings, we stop trying to be all things to all people. As a result, we no longer want to be perfect because we realize that it is an unrealistic expectation. We see others’ imperfections and do not judge them.
Stop Apologizing
Do you feel you have to justify what you are doing by creating a story or apologizing? Many of us do because we are scared that we will not live up to others’ expectations or our standards.
People will judge us whether we try and avoid it by apologizing or not at all. They see the things in us that they like about themselves. We act as mirrors and reflect to them the things they do not like about themselves, too. Ask yourself these questions.
1. When is enough enough?
2. What do I have to do to ensure that I carry my load?
3. What does perfection look like, sound like and feel like in this situation?
4. What must I accept in others so that they can be vulnerable with me?
You are enough. Do your best and congratulate yourself on a job well done.
Remove the Mask
Are you hiding your true self and acting based on others’ expectations? Do you feel lost and alone sometimes? By doing this, we become detached from our authentic self.
First, list your strengths. Then, list those characteristics which you are not as proud. Lastly, list how you would act, speak and interact when you are authentic. What is the difference between how your current being and how your authentic self wants to be now? Slowly question what you need to do to drop the mask and finally be authentic.
If you get stuck at this stage, it is beneficial to work with a coach.
Beliefs
What are your beliefs about success? Do you think it requires hard work, overwork, or putting everything in higher priority than your own needs?
Our beliefs can hold us back. It is vital to believe in your own worth and the worth of others. Hence, you have to trust yourself and others. You have to let yourself and others be vulnerable. It is now your duty to know when the beliefs you hold are not the truths.
Do not take the blame and assume responsibility for the actions of others. Also, do not assume you are less than others. The thing is, you are worthy. You have a right to have a contented and balanced life.
You are on a personal journey. Learn to accept your weaknesses and others. Love yourself.
Do you want to
- reduce stress and achieve harmony in your personal and professional life?
- be a more effective and efficient leader in your workplace?
If you want to be on top of your game, then you will benefit the most from coaching.
I am offering a free 20-minute consultation to help you decide which coaching package is best for you. Click the button below to schedule a call.
Dr. Brenda Kelleher-Flight
