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Have you ever wondered why you couldn’t turn off your mind? Why does it keep on reminding you of things you would rather forget? Well, you are not alone.

Our minds can keep us awake, cause us to overindulge, or put ourselves down when there is nothing in the present moment to justify the turmoil. Let’s look at why this happens.

Our Mind 

Our mind is made up of at least three things including:

  1. Words we absorbed when we thought we weren’t listening. These words include what we hear on the radio, conversations we overhear, what commentators tell us, stories others tell us about friends, family or colleagues, and so on.
  2. Things we are told directly, and that can include
    a. Views we like and
    b.Opinions we don’t like.
  3. Stories we weave after an event or in anticipation of an event.

Please Others or Myself

Our minds can trap us into believing that it is more important to please others than to do what is best for ourselves. They remind us of others’ expectations that were drilled into our heads over the years.

They reprimand us when they think we will disappoint someone else, or cause us to lose our status or place in society. Our minds act as if they are the boss of us, but is that what you want?

Lazy or Industrious 

Sometimes our minds do not want to become too involved. They take shortcuts to find solutions to whatever we are thinking about in the moment. They decide not to examine all the pros and cons of what we are deciding and fall back on old patterns or responses. If these worked in the past, that is great. If they landed us in hot water, the outcomes might not be pleasant and we may be left with many regrets.

I’m Right 

Our minds can also harbor biases we aren’t really conscious of. They will look for evidence to prove they’re right by ignoring facts that don’t confirm their thinking. This hidden agenda can dramatically affect our decisions and can negatively affect our peace of mind. When the outcome is not what was intended, it will look for someone to blame. That may make us feel good temporarily but it rarely works in the long run.


Our minds like to do things according to their own beliefs. It’s like a horse moving forward wearing blinders. It can only see what is in front of it and is missing a lot of information from its surroundings. If your mind has blinders narrowing your vision, you will miss critical information that can influence your peace of mind and level of contentment. If this is true, then what is the key?

The Key 

Don’t let your mind rule you. Become the boss of your mind. Don’t accept its shortcuts and narrow-mindedness. Stay sharp. Look at all the pros and cons in each situation, be alert to your biases and always do what is in your own best interest. Do it in a way that honors others but doesn’t hold you hostage to beliefs and ideas that are not beneficial for you in the long run.

Do you want to

  • reduce stress and achieve harmony in your personal and professional life?
  • be a more effective and efficient leader in your workplace?

If you want to be on top of your game, then you will benefit the most from coaching.

I am offering a free 20-minute consultation to help you decide which coaching package is best for you. Click the button below to schedule a call.

Dr. Brenda Kelleher-Flight