Is your mind constantly telling you stories? Do you feel trapped and just can’t find the way forward? Do you want a better life?
If you answered ‘yes’ to these questions, you may find this article helpful.
I spent years feeling alone, unlovable, and sad. I just couldn’t change things. I kept repeating the same patterns over and over. That was until I took a course in Mindfulness and Focusing and began to listen to my body.
I’m sure there are many methods to do this. I am going to share mine with you.
Please adjust these steps as you see fit. I’m sure there is no magic wrapped in them but they did work for me.
Step 1: I asked this question, “What lies between me and the life I want (the feeling of contentment)?”
When I asked this question, I began to blame others. Then I asked myself this question, “Why do I feel necessary to blame X?” Usually underneath this question, I found a negative belief.
Let me give you examples from my own life and what others have told me:
- I really don’t like myself.
- I am not smart enough.
- I don’t have a college degree.
- No one will ever love me.
- I never do enough to please others
- I can’t express my own opinions because others will reject me.
- I’m unlovable.
- No one ever puts me first.
- I’m a lost cause.
Step 2: Asking a second question.
When I found that answer, I asked a second question, “If I solved that issue would I be happy or is there another issue waiting to be heard?”
In my case, other issues arose. Sometimes they were negative memories, pictures of people who upset me, or negative feelings I generated based on my own stories.
I kept a record of each realization and sat with one at a time. The big issue I faced was letting my mind get in the way.
Step 3: Letting Your Body Speak
My intention was to find where in my body the negativity was held and sit with it until it was ready to express itself.
It took practice.
I was determined to sit there and focus on the part of my body that hurt or was tense. When thoughts got in the way, I let them go by as if they were playing on a movie screen and I would refocus on my body. Sometimes, an hour would go by before my mind calmed and my body began to communicate with me.
It was amazing to me how opinionated my mind was all the time.
Step 4: Love Yourself and Love Yourself More
It is wonderful when our bodies begin to tell their stories. Sometimes the stories do not match what is playing in our heads at all. Other times, symbols or pictures appear and, in that moment, there is a very freeing process that occurs.
I was amazed at how detached I had become from my authentic self. I was seeing the world through others’ eyes. As I began to become my own best friend everything started to shift.
It is a wonderful experience.
Step 5: Seek help
I coach in person and various platforms such as Skype. If you cannot move through this process on your own, seek a coach in your area (and if you can’t do that because of confidentiality issues, find one on-line).
Always, put yourself first. Invest in yourself. You deserve it.
Do you want to
- reduce stress and achieve harmony in your personal and professional life?
- be a more effective and efficient leader in your workplace?
If you want to be on top of your game, then you will benefit the most from coaching.
I am offering a free 20-minute consultation to help you decide which coaching package is best for you. Click the button below to schedule a call.
Dr. Brenda Kelleher-Flight