Introduction
Do you ever find yourself wanting to offer an opinion and can’t find the words or the strength to express your opinion especially during a meeting?
This is not unusual. It happens when we think we cannot find the right words to say, others will shoot down our ideas, or we succumb to our feelings of inadequacy. This article addresses these situations and offers solutions which may be worth trying during your next meeting.
What Happens to My Voice
When we stop speaking or jumble our words, we have moved to a very passive way of being with others. We are unable to speak our truth and others are not sure when we are supporting their ideas. Therefore, they stop listening to us or asking for our opinions.
This is stressful, isn’t it? The good news is that it does not have to be this way. Stop for a moment and ask the following questions:
- What am I thinking before or as I enter that meeting?
- Am I like this in all situations or just with these people?
- What are my negative beliefs about myself?
- What is my underlying fear (e.g. fear of failure, fear of rejection)?
- Do I know my truth or do I try and think of it on the fly?
- Am I intimidated by superiors, individuals who are better educated, or person with more experience?
When you’ve answered these questions, think of the reasons for your answers. Are the answers ideas you generated on your own or things you have been told by others? If they are ideas others told you, such as never speak up to superiors, then question whether that is a belief you want to keep and whether it is serving you well.
Next, decide on your own belief based on your strengths. Ask whether you want to contribute to the discussion that take place during the meeting because it is a topic you have expertise or you want to influence because the outcome will affect you in the future.
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The New Belief
Your new belief should be one you can imagine in detail. For example, I’ll find out the agenda for a meeting before I go, determine what I think and why, outline the main ideas I want to present, and enter the meeting ready to listen and to contribute with confidence. I am willing to problem solve but I am not willing to be bullied or ignored. I sit tall and take my time to express my ideas. If others ignore me, I acknowledge that it is happening and express my ideas opening and calmly.
Preparation for the Future
Truth
Determine your own truth. Say it out loud or over and over until it is clear to you. When it is flawless to you, others will easily understand your point of view. Others do have to accept your truth, but you have a right to express it openly without bullying or ridicule.
Ideas
First, take a small piece of paper and make two columns. Second, in the first column write your key ideas which will be expressed as the opportunity arises. In the second one, note the point you predict others will make. Third, ensure you have the evidence you need to support or counter their ideas. This way you are ready to express yourself calmly. Fourth, eliminate ideas which are unnecessary at this time, and finally, decide how to express your ideas by articulating what you support and where you are making alternate suggestions.
Values
Before you enter any meeting, determine the values you are taking with you. If you take the value of success at all cost, the meeting will most likely proceed in a different way than if you enter with the values of harmony and team work as the themes underlying everything you say and do.
Problem Solve
Express the ideas you are supporting to let others know that you heard them, and clearly state the ideas where you differ and your desire to reach a solution or decision in harmony with others. Focus on the ideas and refrain from making ‘you’ statements wherever possible.
Presence
Check to determine the messages of your posture, dress, and eye contact and adjust as necessary to be the person you know you are and you want others to see.
Final Note
You can do this. I know you can. Follow these steps and practice. You have many strengths and it is time to let them shine.
Creating the Life I Deserve (Mini Course)
You deserve to be at ease and in harmony with your true self. This is your time if you are willing to do the work. Complete the form below to access the FREE email course.
