“Why am I stuck?”
This is a common question. We stay in the same place having the same experiences for a variety of reasons. These include lack of a vision, the story in your mind is getting in the way, there are too many rules, your focus is not on what you really want, or not enough stamina. Let’s look at each one individually.
Lack of A Vision
We develop a story in our minds and play it over and over and over. Soon the story is playing without us even being aware that it is an automatic part of ourselves.
Consequently, consciously we are thinking of a new story which contains all the things we want but the subconscious is playing our old story. The new story never gets a chance because it is not clear enough.
There are ways to change that.
- First, think about what you want.
- Second, outline all the things that are needed to make that happen. Picture the sights, sounds, smells, and tastes in full color.
- Third, compare the new picture with the current picture, which contains what you do not want.
- Fourth, focus on the new picture for a minute a day for a month then put it somewhere where you can see it but not focus on it.
- Fifth, when you are about to make a decision or engage in an activity ask, “Does this fit with the new picture or the old picture?”, then make a conscious choice (based on the new picture).
The Story in Your Mind Is Getting in The Way
Most of us do not sit down and wonder, “What do I really believe?” Neither do we question where our beliefs come from or if they serve us well. You may believe that eating fat is not good for you? Where did you learn that because now we are being told that it is not too much fat that is not good for us but it is too much sugar.
The main thing is to identify why we think the way we do, whether or not the beliefs are still serving us well, and consciously make adjustments as necessary. The key is that your beliefs support the story of what you do want.
There Are Too Many Rules
How many rules do you set for yourself?
How many should and should-nots are playing in your head? How many timelines are you expected to meet? How much money must you have to be happy? What kind of relationships are you expected to be in by certain ages? What should your living accommodations be like by a specific time frame?
Do you see yourself as making mistakes or making mis-takes? If you see yourself as making mis-takes, you will step back, learn the lesson, make the necessary adjustments, and move forward.
Your focus will be on ‘now.’
One way to break old thought patterns is to get a bowl of water. When you want to think of the past, scoop up some water and give yourself permission to think of the past as long as you can hold the water in your cupped hands.
Your Focus Is Not on What You Really Want
Our minds can play real tricks on us. We think about what we want and then we forget it and play thoughts about what we do not want. Who is the ruler? You or your mind? If you are, you will quickly note that you are focusing on the old picture and will change your mind to concentrate on the new picture.
Not Enough Stamina
Do you give up easily? If you do, you have lots of us in your club. The key is to remember that it takes a while to create a new habit. Your mind will want to take the easy route and do what it has always done. It will put up a fight to keep things the way they are. After all, it is where it is comfortable.
Think of it as if you are learning something new like riding a bicycle. You may fall off a few times but you can do it. You will keep trying until you can ride the bicycle without thinking about it.
Keep a record of your timeline and give yourself permission to want to go back to the old ways/habits. Also, take pride and celebrate each day that you move toward what you want.
Always remember that you deserve to have the life you want. Keep moving in that direction.
Creating the Life I Deserve (Mini Course)
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