5 Benefits of Knowing the Mediator Before Hiring Her

One of the most important things you can do in the mediation process is to speak with the mediator before hiring her. This conversation is essential because your mediator is there to provide information and answer your questions about the process.

This meeting is essential because the mediator is impartial as you attempt to resolve your issues with the other party. Speaking with a qualified mediator before you hire her builds trust. It establishes a positive relationship between you and your mediator in several ways.

Five benefits of speaking with the mediator

There are five benefits associated with dialogue with the mediator. The first is that you are confident that she knows the process. A mediator who answers all of your questions about the process is someone in whom you can have confidence to handle anything, even the unexpected,that may arise. She is able to tell you how the actual mediation process will proceed; the steps in the process, any associated rules, and the limitations of her role.

Second, you have the opportunity to understand the process and come to believe in its fairness. As soon as you know what is going to happen, step by step, you can be confident that things will move along in the way they are designed. If she does answer your questions and put you at ease, you can re-evaluate your decision to hire this mediator.

Third, you get the opportunity to determine what routes are available to you to solve your issue. Only you know which avenue is absolutely right for you. However, if you are considering mediation as an option the mediator can provide you with information about whether or not conflict resolution is an appropriate choice for you at this time. Different issues require different approaches, and conflict resolution isn’t right for everyone. Exploring this question with the mediator is a good idea because it not only helps you determine if your issue is right for mediation, it also helps reveal your motivation for seeking a mediator in the first place.

The fourth reason is to have faith in the mediator’s competence. The mediator’s qualifications and experience should be discussed in your conversation with her. Speaking with a mediator about her past experience, her educational qualifications, and her references she can provide builds trust.

Finally, in the course of building this trust you gain important information about interpersonal qualities the mediator has that may aid you in making the decision to hire her.

Qualities to note when meeting with the mediator

There are at least three qualities which are worth evaluating. The first relates to the level and kind of attentiveness she shows you.  Further, you may prefer a higher level of attention than the mediator is showing. You want to make certain that the mediator you plan on hiring is sufficiently able to complete the mediation in a timely manner.

Second, note the mediator’s specific moral code and how it meshes with your own. Beyond making certain that your mediator will handle your mediation in an ethical manner, you also want to consider whether or not your ethical standards match that of your mediator. While your mediator is an impartial party in mediation, she is also a person with whom you need to feel comfortable.

Third, be aware of the mediator’s level of decisiveness. While your mediator won’t be making decisions for you, she is the expert, and you need to decide the kind of guiding hand you want during the mediation process. Do you want a very decisive mediator guiding your process or do you want someone who stays very much in the background, no matter what occurs during your mediation session? These choices are a matter of personality and can be as important as the issues to be resolved.

When you are comfortable that the mediator’s qualities match those for which you are searching, you will feel at ease with her.

• How does she typically conduct her mediation sessions?
• How long do the sessions last?
• Does the mediator expect to meet with me prior to mediation or assume she can ask for additional information prior to commencing the mediation?
• Will she require investigation of any issues prior to mediation?
• Where will mediation take place?
• Will a formal written settlement agreement be drafted once a tentative agreement is reached?
• What are your fees and is there a possibility that there can be additional fees? If so, what are they?
• Will all parties be signing a confidentiality statement?

You have feel comfortable trusting the mediator to use her training, intuition and knowledge to guide the process. It is essential that you are be able to listen freely, think creatively in the presence of the other party, brainstorm options, and consider solutions.

Setting Your Expectations

It is not only reasonable to ask to speak with the mediator before hiring her, it is one of the most positive things you can do for yourself and your mediation. In speaking with the mediator, you are gaining valuable information about the process and the mediator herself, and you are building trust that will help make the process move along more smoothly.