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Do you feel off even when things seem to be going well? Is there a heaviness which just won’t go away? Are you hyperalert? Are you waiting for the next shoe to drop?

If so, it is important to understand where these feelings may be coming from and how to deal with them.

Sometimes a person can feel miserable because she is depressed or suffers from another medical condition which is treatable. If this is the case, it is suggested that you seek the help of your physician.

When a medical condition is not a factor, then your thoughts and beliefs can greatly influence how you feel and how you perceive events in our daily lives. It can lead to unnecessary conflict and misinterpretation of events

This article is not about finding fault. It is about analyzing our thinking and determining what we need to do to move forward. It is designed to help you move from the negative to the neutral or positive frame of mind. To this end, four issues are discussed: separateness, extremes, time, and mind control.


Do you feel separate from or part of the universe? If you feel separate or as if no one understands you or as if no one has ever had the same experiences, you are mistaken.

You are not separate. You are part of this wonderful universe. You are needed in the magical quilt we call society. We are all linked in this great Cosmic web. We have so much in common. You have so much to teach every person you meet. We need your wisdom. Knowing your learnings helps others learn and helps to prevent them from going down paths they would later regret.

Do not see other persons as separate. Yes, some may irritate you or do things that upset you. They will continue to do those things until they get the opportunity to learn how to conduct themselves otherwise or until you stop interacting with them.

Because we are all connected, it is vital to realize that the only person we can change is ourselves. What I say and do may affect you and what you say and do may affect me.  Whether it does or not is each person’s choice. It is essential that we do not give others control over our reactions.

Love yourself first, then give to others what you are able. Do not invite conflict and do not let others drag you into negative situations which are not your doing.


Many times, we are taught that things are either good or bad, acceptable or unacceptable, agreeable or not agreeable. As a result, we began to think in terms of extremes.

Extremes exist only to teach you that you are off-balance. They provide you with information you can use to problem solve and restore harmony in your life.

Don’t waste times focusing on the extremes. Most things are not either black or white. There are many shades in between. See and feel the extremes and each beautiful shade in between. Find its meaning. Determine your options and make the decision that is best for you.


Time is a concept we use to organize ourselves and fulfill our obligations. Otherwise, it is illusionary. Sometimes, time seems to speed up and pass very quickly. Other times, it seems to slow down and almost stop.

Do not let the slowness of time cause you to feel sad, lonely, or separate. Feel the feeling, acknowledge it, and begin to name at least five things you are grateful for at this time.

Use time to your advantage. It is your time. You can control what happens during each moment of your life rather than letting the moments control you.

Mind Control

You have to determine what you believe about supreme consciousness, a higher power or intuition (your higher self). The question is, “Is your mind controlling you or are you controlling your mind?”

Many times, our minds just go wherever they want to go and we do not harness that energy. You can choose to let that happen, or you can limit your time in the doldrums, or give it a time limit and choose to shift your thoughts.

Take charge of your mind. You have that right. Love all of the stories your mind tells you but choose which of them controls your mood and how much time they get to distract you from the ‘Now.’

This is not a dress rehearsal. Do not let a precious moment go by without knowing what you are thinking and why you are giving that thought priority.

It is easy to feel down and it is just as easy to nudge ourselves, little by little, to where we want to be.

Take charge and choose to obliterate feeling downcast. This is your life. Visualize how you want it to be and take steps towards what you want rather than focusing on what you do not want. Do not look back.

Claim the ‘Now’ and prepare for a beautiful future.

Do you want to

  • reduce stress and achieve harmony in your personal and professional life?
  • be a more effective and efficient leader in your workplace?

If you want to be on top of your game, then you will benefit the most from coaching.

I am offering a free 20-minute consultation to help you decide which coaching package is best for you. Click the button below to schedule a call.

Dr. Brenda Kelleher-Flight