Recognizing Stress and Its Impact on Others (Part 2 of 4)

Part 1

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In last week’s article I shared four signals of stress: abrupt demonstrations of quick temper, blaming others, distractibility and excessive eating. In this article, I’m going to share with you the next four.

To recap, there are four reaction patterns to stress:

Overproduction. We take on too much work, think we can do something better than others and get overwhelmed when we can’t meet our commitments.

Underproduction. We refuse to take on responsibilities, or take on work but fail to deliver, and/or make excuses why we cannot meet a deadline.

Blame. We find fault in others, quick to use names rather than focus on the issue and gossip.

Distancing. We go into our office and close the door, ask others to make an appointment to speak with us, and/or do whatever it takes to avoid interacting with specific people.

These patterns are normal. The best thing we can do is to identify our own pattern and catch ourselves before we act on it. In order to catch ourselves, it is essential to know how our body is signaling that we are stressed and develop constructive patterns to deal with the stress.

13 Stress Signals and Actions You Can Take Today

By noting the 13 signals of stress and deciding the best ways to deal with stressed persons we can make our lives easier and maintain positive relations with them.

I share signals 5-8 below, and will publish the rest in the next couple of weeks. I hope to get your thoughts on them in the comments section below.

Failure to Take Breaks

If you work or live with someone who is always busy, they do not have time to focus on anything except the tasks in front of them. This can be an indication of high levels of stress. Over working can be a sign of avoidance. If persons bury themselves in tasks, they think they can avoid dealing with the difficulties that are troubling them. Unfortunately, overwork is only a temporary measure. Eventually, the issues will have to be dealt with in one way or another.

Your Action

Sometimes you can assist this person if you

1.    acknowledge that they appear to be unable to stop what they are doing even for a short time and wonder if there is anything you can do to help them
2.    ensure you are pulling your load
3.    question yourself to see if they are avoiding you for any reason and if you need to apologize for anything, do so, and/or
4.    insist that they take a break and join in the social aspects of home or work.

Fatigue

Fatigue is a result of stress. When persons are stressed they do not sleep well and find it hard to relax. Fatigue will present as inability to complete as much work/chores as expected, use of sick time, slowness in movement, or even falling asleep during the day.

Your Action

You can note these patterns and assist if you

1.    wonder if the expectations of these persons are too high, if the work is meaningful, or if their roles are satisfying
2.    ensuring the person takes appropriate breaks and sufficient holidays, and/or
3.    acknowledge that they are always tired and question what you can do to assist them.

Focusing on Another’s Shortcomings

When people do not feel good about themselves, they attempt to feel better by pointing out others’ shortcomings. They make sure everyone sees others’ weaknesses. When they point out these flaws they feel better about themselves. They fail to recognize that we are mirrors of each other. Things we like in others are reflections of our strengths. The things we do not like in others are mirrors of our own weaknesses which may be dormant or visible to others.

Your Action

You are the best role model if you

1.    refrain from discussing others personal characteristics and walk away from any such discussions
2.    focus on issues and not people
3.    note others’ strengths when someone is pointing out their needs, and/or
4.    state that you do not want to partake in personality assassinations and bring the persons back to the issues at hand.

Inability To Meet Established Deadlines

When a person continuously does not meet established deadlines they may be

•         demonstrating some form of control,
•         displaying passive aggressive behaviour, or
•         be so stressed that they are unable to complete their work in the time allotted.

If they are stressed, they know what has to be done and they know they have the time to complete the task and they are still unable to respect the timelines.

Your Action

Sometimes you can assist if you

1.    break the task down and establish a series of timelines
2.    ensure the persons have the tools and assistance they need to complete the requirements
3.    refrain from adding tasks to their job after deadlines have been established, and/or
4.    check with them frequently to ensure they are maintaining their focus on the tasks at hand.

Do you recognize any of these signals within you and/or others? What specific actions are you going to take so you can maintain a positive relationship with yourself and others?

Please share your stories in the comments below.