Part 1 | Part 2
In the past two weeks we have covered eight stress signals: abrupt demonstrations of quick temper, blaming others, distractibility, excessive eating, failure to take breaks, fatigue, focusing on others’ shortcomings, and inability to meet established deadlines.
In this article, I’m going to share with you the next four.
To recap, there are four reaction patterns to stress:
Overproduction. We take on too much work, think we can do something better than others and get overwhelmed when we can’t meet our commitments.
Underproduction. We refuse to take on responsibilities, or take on work but fail to deliver, and/or make excuses why we cannot meet a deadline.
Blame. We find fault in others, quick to use names rather than focus on the issue and gossip.
Distancing. We go into our office and close the door, ask others to make an appointment to speak with us, and/or do whatever it takes to avoid interacting with specific people.
These patterns are normal. The best thing we can do is to identify our own pattern and catch ourselves before we act on it.
13 Stress Signals and Actions You Can Take Today
By noting the 13 signals of stress and deciding the best ways to deal with stressed persons we can make our lives easier and maintain positive relations with them.
I share signals 9-12 below, and will publish the last installment of this series next week. I hope to get your thoughts on them in the comments section at the end.
Looking for the Negative
All roles in life have positive and negative aspects. Regrettably, there are people who, when stressed, only see the negative in any situation. They resist change, stick to their perceived roles or job descriptions, and can tell you all the negatives that will occur if you do what you say you are going to do.
Your Action
You can avoid being drawn in by these people if you
- ask them to outline the negatives and then ask for all the positives
- require them to offer solutions to the issues they outline
- give them credit for finding solutions or better ways to do things, and/or
- positively point out that they always see the negative and wonder aloud what needs to occur in the situation to assist them to see the positives as well as the negatives.
Manipulating Information
When people are stressed they are often willing to take action which they would not consider if their circumstances were different. Some of the behaviours you may see include
- insisting that their information be considered as the only necessary information
- manipulating financial records
- overbilling
- changing information to make things look more favourable than they are
- telling only part of a story
- changing their story as time goes by, and/or
- refusing to let others see their records.
Your Action
Sometimes you can avoid being caught in their web if you
- note comments or behaviours which indicate they are under considerable stress in any aspect of their lives
- ask concrete questions and require openness and transparency
- make internal auditing part of your normal processes
- ask for specifics from more than one source and compare information,
- ask such a person why he feels it necessary to be defensive or avoid presenting all options with the pros and cons for your consideration and decision making, and/or
- insist on all the facts while focusing on the issue rather than on the person.
Micromanaging Another
When persons are stressed common behaviours include micromanaging others. They ask details and intrusive questions, want others to account for their whereabouts all the time, wonder what others are discussing, and want to be involved in tasks which really do not require their input.
Your Action
Frequently you can avoid this intense oversight if you
- clarify your timelines and set regular times to review progress
- ask what their specific concerns are and make sure they are addressed
- always act respectful and inclusive
- refrain from any avoidance behaviours,
- include the person in problem-solving efforts, and/or
- give these persons credit where credit is due.
Poor Personal Appearance
It is difficult for persons to be concerned about how they appear to others when they are focused on their own issues. The issues or stressors seem to be insurmountable and the persons lose hope of resolution. Therefore, their internal thoughts say, “Why bother.”
Your Action
You can provide support if you
- provide positive comments for work well done
- offer positive comments which focus on their strengths
- offer access to available in-house or community support services
- note that they appear to be stressed and ask if there is anything you can do to help
- remind the person of the dress code or expectations associated with their role, and/or
- are honest about aspects of their personal appearance which are negatively impacting their work or others willingness to interact with them.
This is the third installment of Recognizing Stress and Its Impact on Others. Thank you for reading my insights about this topic, and I hope to learn from yours as well.
Leave a comment below and let’s start a conversation.
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